In hopes of really having a good connection with you all and being a bit transparent, I'm getting a bit personal today. (Don't worry, there is still a photo with linked items at the end <3). I'm hoping that if you're in the same place as I am you won't feel so alone and more importantly, you'll know it's okay not to be okay.
To cut to the point, I've recently hated every second I'm in school. It feels like it's such a waste of time and it's not where I'm supposed to be. Oh, and by the way, I'm an international business major and spanish minor. Have you ever felt like something just isn't worth finishing, much less spending major $$$ on? That's 100% me right now, but not graduating with a degree just isn't an option either. I've always done so well in school making all A's, and I can count the B's I've made on one hand. A big "however": the whole idea of school is just dreadful to me. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about trying a different option.
Now for the more positive side that I hope you guys really get something from! With all of the above in mind, I started looking for something else to do. I wasn't really against any option including staying in college and finishing with a degree in something else. I've thought about all the license where I'd be able to quickly take course and obtain, but none of those really seemed to fit me. The more I though about it, the more I realized Art, in particularly the fashion industry, is something I have always loved and genuinely want it to be a part of my life and career. So I started really diving into how to make that work. For those recently graduated or in college, you know how stressful it can be to realize your current major isn't for you or the simple fact that college is hard. Juggling a job, figuring life out, etc. is just not easy manage while you try to earn a degree in any given field. I'm over halfway done with my current degree too, so you can imagine how it feels to realize it's not what I want to do with my life. Like everyone says though, nothing in life is easy.
Today, I really put in work towards trying to figure out my college career. I've talked to my parents and a lot of close friends, and I even skipped class today to walk around with a friend and talk about how I'm feeling. I knew I needed to really focus on how to get this ball rolling. I applied to switch my major to Arts Management because I think it's a field I would thrive in, much more so than international business. Looking at the course load and the fact that I'm way behind everyone else my age now really does overwhelm me, but I know it'll work out. Yes, I might be in college more than 4 years now. Yes, that does suck, but no one ever really knows where they're going to be or what they're going to be doing so it's really okay. When I came into college, I thought I knew I would for sure graduate with an international business degree, and I'd travel all over the world. I thought that would be the best thing, but when I realized I wasn't happy, I knew I had to change. Change doesn't happen overnight night, though. I'm unsure with doubt and there will still be bad days, but I sure am happy as hell to be moving forward.
At the end of the day, the point I'm trying to get across is that it's okay if you're not in the happiest of places right now. You'll probably still be somewhat in the same place tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you can start working towards getting to a place where you want to be. Start trying to figure it out, and it's okay to still have your me time to deal with the stress. E.g. skipping class today for myself. I'm not saying everyone should go to college either. Everyone has a trials they'll have to deal with, and it won't always be easy. You can get to a happy place that you want to be though, wether that be your mental state, career, or for me, a college degree. So here's me today, with tons of homework and uncertainty, but also smiles and all with a new path to take. xx
I had a bit of trouble finding you guys some similar knit tops like the one I'm wearing! It's from ASOS, but they're pretty much all sold out.
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